The Good Little Girl- chapter one

...OR... How I Survived Being a Dysfit

Methinks that part of the process of my mother's failing health is to bring to light bits and pieces of the puzzle of my life. I am learning much more than how a baby boomer takes care of their aging parents.

Today, while my mother was on hold with the phone company, her annoyance prompted her to spurt out her negative scenario of what was causing the extended hold time. My equally fabricated response lent itself to a more compassionate possibility. "Oh, my little optimist. You're always---" As the all too familiar discomfort and awkwardness flooded my cheeks, I blurted out, Yes, I am!" and interrupted her. A moment of defiance. I was weary of down-playing or denying the fact that I choose to believe the half-full glass way of living. We are both now adults and this is how I live my life. Some people think they are Cleopatra reincarnated; alas, I think I am Pollyanna.

Twas not just the New Thought training and work that created this mindset. I was born with it; it was always my nature to look on the bright side and look for that infernal pony. I didn't want to be such a good girl or goody two-shoes. (Do bad girls wear something other than two shoes?) I wanted to be Anita, not Maria; Betty and not Veronica; Patty not Cathy. Such was not my lot in life. Being good was in my nature (see my earlier post). Being good probably is what birthed my abiding need to be right no matter what. I always found it natural, and strong and well, right.

Don't get me wrong, there were moments, episodes where I made choices or acted anything but saintly. I tried to smoke cigarettes to be cool and accepted, but I hated smoking. I endured numerous second degree sunburns going to the beach with my friends so that I could be popular but I hate the beach, the sun and the sand. But I also really do stop and smell the flowers along the way. And dammit, it's time I own up to that. It's time, for me, to make that OK.

People (you know, people,-- where "they" come from...) as a rule are much more compassionate and forgiving to those rebels or criminals who stray from the Golden Rule but find their way back, than they are to those of us who may have just continued along the straight and narrow. Oh, the times I have "done the right thing"--particularly with governmental or civil service deparments --only to be questioned or penalized.

Good girls (and boys) unite! No more do we have to justify our behavior. No more disclaimers to our actions. This is way beyond the Boy Scout badge of honor kind of thing. I just want it to be acceptable to be polite, conscientious, kind or smile in the elevator or while taking a walk. No more shall we endure askance glances or scoffs. Bring back random acts of kindness and paying it forward. Don't mess with Red . . . or else!

Comments

Rev. Duchess said…
Thank heaven for good little girls.

D.C.

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