Good (???) Friday

Oh yeah, right --- "Good" in this holiday sense doesn't necessarily mean easy,
right, JC?

This holiday makes me realize that as a good little Catholic girl celebrating this Holy Weekend, that the title Good Friday went with -- by all accounts -- a pretty difficult and painful day. Hmmm. In my child's mind, good got equated with hard.
But then came Easter Sunday with black patent leather shoes, new dresses and baskets of goodies to make it all better. No wonder so many of us are confused and we flock to New Thought and therapists and "The Secret" to find our way back to the Garden. (Insert the "Woodstock" theme here and kindly send
royalties to CSN & Y).


I am home today from my maternal pastoral trip to Los Angeles.
I am disoriented, dizzy, weary and weepy and all the other dwarves.
I find myself hiding from the ringing phone... it feels so intrusive. I don't even want to talk to people I would want to talk to...
aaaargh.
I know animals can communicate with you without words, so Belle and I are doing fine. In fact, She is doing her best to reduce some of my angst and stress.

The majority of my personal and professional life has been on hold. I come home--which feels oh, so fine-- and then the onslaught of the ignored chores, the messages to return, the numerous of e-mail and the LISTS of THINGS TO DO haunt me.

One of the blessings I acnowledge this weekend is that the rest of the world is on holiday-mode and therefore, more tolerant of being incommunicado. Whew. I am tackling little things today that I know I can accomplish. The overcast weather adds ambience to the mood, don't ya think?

Please understand that I share state of mind with you not to extract your concern. My intention is two-fold: by writing, I am able to move through most of what may at first sound like self-pity (which it isn't). This is how I process things. If I can allow myself the privilege of my feelings and experience, as well as a smattering of weeping and whining, I can move beyond the trials and tribulations. And I share all this in a fond hope that it would offer enlightenment or comfort on someone else's journey. My story is just that--my story; my stuff. This creative venue and public forum is one way that I move myself past old patterns and mindtraps. So, if when you read essays such as mine (or someone else's) and it strikes a concern chord in you, the best thing you can do is think thoughts of strength, clarity, wholeness, peace of mind and of course, my fave, JOY for the person for whom you feel concern.

I did for myself what I would proffer to most of you. Every time I had a negative or whiney thought, I would change it. Yeah, but...and change that. Oh, look a chicken... and then bring my focus back. And I took myself on a walk. Walking and writing are my saving graces. And it was so good to be home to walk in my wonderful neighborhood. Sure enough, there were pooches to stop and visit; a beautiful little girl in her stroller and she had the bluest eyes since Paul Newman; and at the post office, my Von's Barista, Rachel (whom I have written or sermonized about) was there. I got to say hello and meet her children. Her little girl, Cassandra goes by the name of Sassy. (Sassy is darling and already has a head-start to living up to her nickname). Earlier, Rachel told Don she guessed I must be back from L.A.if he was ordering a Venti Cafe Americano. Then I found I was smiling again and knew that I had re-connected. I extended my walk past the Carmeline Monastery, where the plethora of prayers there reach out to me; the fragrance of jasmine as I wend my way to Meditation Point to stand in the silence and pray. ahhhhhh...life is good.

Waxing just slightly spiritual...we all have (or had) or crosses to bear. And much like Jesus the Christ, we chose to bear them. I am grateful I have the principles and philsophy I have to see me through; to allow me to choose differently; and to elevate my consciousness without denying my experience. We do not have to continue to carry the burdens, the crosses, till exhaustion --we can choose to put them down. Become Buddhist for a day and stop the suffering. Get refreshed, get centered and do whatever you need to do with your cross to be complete with it and then be free. Free to choose the life YOU deserve and desire. And while carrying the cross to the end destination; or making bonfire wood of it, remember to stay at choice; remember to surrender to the Highest Good of all concerned and let go (of the cross/the burden) and let God effortlessly handle it through you.

And so it is.

Comments

Mel Karmen said…
Dear One,

Please know that you are ALWAYS connected to those of us who love you--even when you need to be incommunicado.

Finally letting go of some burdens myself, and "passing over" to the promised land. Free` at last! And, yes, we've GOT to find out back to the Garden. Some of us even flock to(gasp!!)therapists!

So, for today, for you, little things and baby steps.

The sun will come out tomorrow!

Love,
Mel
Anonymous said…
no words to say, just love to send. LW
csti said…
"Become Buddhist for a day and stop the suffering."

This is why I keep coming back to drink from your well. Thank you for my new mantra.

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