You better watch out . . .

Or pout. In addition to the fact that it is only eight months till Christmas, (rumor has it that yesterday, Santa was seen on 33rd street just North of the Post Office in Normal Heights)you now have even more reason to mind your P's and Q's.

Under the category of "What Will They Think of Next..." comes the opportunity to reserve your spot in heaven; and/or reserve a spot in hell, or send somebody to hell. No, really.

www.reserveaspotinheaven.com
or
www.reserveaspotinhell.com

Both 100% guaranteed. Group discounts are accepted.
Interesting fodder for a non-denominational minister to ponder.

There are the basic $its ranging from $12.79 to $15.95. (I am already suspicious of the $12.79 kit. Why not 412.95 or $13.00?? Or $15.79 instead?) The creators from Tacoma, Washington are not claiming any affiliation with any particular religious organization. Which is perhaps a good thing because they might be excommunicated or banished because they weren't tithing 10% of their profits.

For the $12.79 Heaven Entry Kit you receive:
"•Heavenly issued certificate of reservation registered in the Book of Light™
•A First class ticket to Heaven. Why walk those stairs when you can fly?
•The Official Heaven Identification Card so you can get around without getting hassled. •Heaven 101 mini informational guide. Don’t be a victim of culture shock. Get acquainted with the land."

And the equally suspicious $12.79 kit to Hell:
"•Heavenly issued certificate of reservation registered in the Book of Light™
•A First class ticket to Heaven. Why walk those stairs when you can fly?
•The Official Heaven Identification Card so you can get around without getting hassled. •Heaven 101 mini informational guide. Don’t be a victim of culture shock. Get acquainted with the land."

There is a child-like appeal to all this for me. There are a few special people--well, mostly special animal companions--that I would love to reserve a spot in heaven for them. And yes, there are several people over the course of my life for whom I have oft wished would go to hell. (Since I really didn't believe there was such a thing as Hell, it was acceptable to damn them there because it was more about my venting steam than really wishing someone ill).

There was no mention of a devil or other celebrity occupants in Hell, but I was glad to read that your pets could join you and receive a flame retardant treatment for their furry coats. However,if I choose the All Access Kit to Heaven there is no mention of a Supreme Being. I can get a pass to the Land of Milk and Honey but does not guarantee me a seat at God's table or any other heavenly hosts.

Oh joy, oh rapture.
No, really.

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