7/11

7/11 to most folks represents the neighborhood convenience store.
For me, it also represents my mother's birthday. Today, she would have been 78.
Even if I wouldn't have already known that, the usually helpful internet birthday alarm reminders made sure I didn't forget.

It was a good reminder to edit some of those birthday alarm reminders anyway.
I just didn't expect it so hard to hit the 'delete' key next my mom's name.

It's been almost a year now. Frankly, I am doing rather well with the whole thing yet I could sense some griefy kinda denial thing going on as her birthday got closer. My dreams this week have been different, and Mom was even in one of the dreams. I was feeling restless and unsettled as it had become time to deal with her ashes. I felt drawn to do something with the ashes for Mom's birthday rather than on the anniversary of her death. It only just dawned on me that intrinsically it felt better to honor her on her birthday rather than her deathday. It has always struck me as an odd that more people remember the day Elvis or John Lennon died than the dates they were born. Not that we shouldn't recall or reflect an anniversary of someone's passing but I would rather celebrate a birthday than the day someone died--even though I know that death is kind of a birth in a metaphysical sense...oh, you know what I am getting at.

Having a really good friend who understands these things and me--she is going to assist me in taking Mom's ashes and planting something new. Mom was an avid gardener and loved to see things grow. The gardens at the two apartment complexes she managed were transformed into magazine worthy material because of her loving care . It feels very right and good to have Mom's ashes be used for something green and growing. My friend has a beautiful backyard and she, too, loves to plant and grow things and I feel content that Mom can settle down and take root.

Perfect timing so that I can uproot and move away to start my adult life in northern California.
('bout time, wouldn't you agree?)

Happy Birthday, Momma.

Comments

Susannah said…
I still cannot bring myself to "delete" my grandmother from my address book. Will be sending love your way today.

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