20 February, 2008


Did you know that "looney tunes" is in the dictionary now? In addition to being my favorite sets of cartoons; it refers to the adjective describing the wacky state of things. 'Looney', of course, has to do with the Latin "lunar" for moon which often refers to cycles of emotional states based on the pull of the moon on the ocean.

We had a lunar eclipse at 6:01 p.m PST. I was unable to see it at the outset but about a 1/2 hour into it, I was able to watch the clouds cover over the full moon. Awesome.
It might also give rise to why my emotions were so overt today.

An Eric Clapton song playing in Starbucks and a gentle inquiry allowed me to tap into some further spills of grief. I thought it was complete until later in the day, something else triggered me and dammit, I just flat out miss my mom and that has colored so many other things.

It was the harsh realization that there is no one else left in my blood family that was present at my birth or my graduation or my stage debut. Being an only child did have it's perks as a kid, but I think it is pales as one grows older. There is no sibling to call and ask if they remember the time we . . . . No parents or grandparents; and no children of my own. No wonder I always created external families as I grew up. I always belonged to a theatre company; and that was later replaced by a church community. It has been starkly different -- a type of void-- for over a year; and there has been nothing to fill that gap. Happily, gratefully, I have filled the personal family gap when I married Don.
(See? I look on the bright side even in the middle of a PityParty.)

Things should heat up this week with the Obama-Clinton debate on television tonight; and the Academy Awards on Sunday. Sad to say, this is the first year where I have not stayed au courant with the films up for nominations. Don and I have only seen a few of the contenders. Yet, I am glad the WGA strike was settled; and that other looney tune, Jon Stewart will once again, be the host.

May I have the envelope, please?

19 February, 2008


Doo Dah.

The past several days has only continued to give face to the serendipity and synchronicity of whatever cosmosity and psychism that is a foot.

For example, today, as I was leaving at 6:30 a.m. to walk to work at Curves, I stopped at the door and engaged in a mental conversation as to whether or not to take my house keys. My rational mind told me that there was no need as Don would still be home when I got off work. Then the inner voice tried to dissuade me and encourage me to take the keys. The mental dialogue continued as I tried to explain that I don't like taking the full set of keys to work because they often fall out of my pocket when I workout. ( Take them anyway.) I picked them up and then put them down again. (What is the big deal? Just take the keys!) No,I think I am consciously going to leave them here and then pay attention to what if anything shows up about the keys to see if there is something to this mental machination exercise.

Yep. Even that was prescient on my part.

About 11:15 as I was putting on my workout shoes, I had this urge to call Don. I dismissed it and encouraged myself to stay focused, do my workout and I could call later or see him shortly when I got off work. Not even a full 30 seconds go by and my cell phone rings and, you guessed it-- it was Don calling. Had he not 'crossed my mind' when he did, I might not have been paying full attention to my cell when it rang because it is quite loud at Curves. Someone at his job called in sick and Don was going into work two hours earlier than usual. I told him I did not have keys to get into the house and fortunately, he had not gotten on the freeway and was able to drive by Curves and give me his keys. Interesting.

Time and time again, I have proven to myself that when that little voice tells me something, there is usually merit to it and I should pay attention. It's not that I really doubt it, I guess it's more of an inner-game of sorts that I play with the Universe. Wisely, I don't play strip poker with the Universe because I would be naked far too often.

OH, and on Sunday, Don and I had an important business meeting. When we arrived, I was amused because I looked down at the odometer and it read ... 111 -- well, actually it was 11.1 miles. Yet, once again, here were the repetitive numbers in sequence.

Maybe I should buy a lotto ticket?

City Slackers

No, I did not misspell the title of this post. Yes, I was playing off of the comedy film title, "City Slickers" about a bunch of...