Renaissance Eve

9 January, 2016

Tomorrow, I present my first Sunday service as the new Spiritual Leader at the Santa Fe Center for Spiritual Living.

. . .  gulp.

"Something has changed within me 
Something is not the same 

I'm through with playing by the rules 

Of someone else's game 

Too late for second-guessing 
Too late to go back to sleep 
It's time to trust my instincts 
Close my eyes: and leap! "

It may help you to understand my jitters if I explain that I was raised by my grandmother who worked for years in Vaudeville.  She loved that I shared her theatrical passion and inclinations to continue doing plays and shows.  Before one of my earliest theatrical debuts, Nanny taught me about the type of nerves I seemed to be having --  she called them "Butterflies".  Not nerves. Not fear. Butterflies. She also told me that it was the right thing and a good omen that I felt that happy buzzing before a performance.

Now I realize that tomorrow is not a 'performance' per se.  However, the butterflies have indeed taken wing.

"It's time to try 

Defying gravity 

I think I'll try 

Defying gravity 
Kiss me goodbye 
I am defying gravity 
And you wont bring me down! "

This is all a grand thing--something that manifested from the genesis of a spiritual impulsion to take my passion to a greater level of expression than before. Even when that meant leaving a job, a city and friends in Chico. In fact, the practitioners there gifted me with a stained glass butterfly in southwest colors.

Tonight, I find myself flitting around like a bride on the eve of her wedding. (Although, my groom is still in Chico for now).  Tomorrow is the day, the event, that I have been envisioning and planning for months.  It has been clear to me from the original nudge from Spirit that this was the right and true thing to do.  I have been working on my talk all week--well, I guess if I am honest, I have been working on this talk, this 'calling' for almost a year. Yet, I still feel the racing pulse and even the urge to cry as I dance with my swarm of butterflies.

I've worked to do what I would counsel someone else to do-- B R E A T H E --that and lots of  Rescue Remedy, meditation and prayer.   Now it's time to prepare for sleep so that I can wake up early and

"That's why I couldn't be happier

No, I couldn't be happier

Though it is, I admit

The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
 'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of  cost
There's a couple of things get lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still - 
With this perfect finale
The cheers and the ballyhoo,
Wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true!"

"Tomorrow begins today..."

"Wicked"  Music and Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz
Thank you to Natalie Lang for permission to use her lovely photo.


You are an open vessel thru which God flows freely with love, joy, harmony and wholeness­čĺĽ
Will be listening to your talk tomorrow­čśŹ
Love you

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